The Importance of Mommy Mentors

If you’re new here, you may want to catch up on the Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me? series.

When I was pregnant for the first time 8 years ago, I felt incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by like-minded women who had been there, done that.  I come from a rather large family, and felt very comfortable chatting with my aunts about all things pregnancy.  My sisters-in-law also had babies right before we did, so I often called them up.  “What should I put on my registry?  What do we really need?  Which childbirth classes are worth our time?”

Not really thinking about the significance at the time, I was blessed to be surrounded by experienced moms who were willing to share their tips and tricks, and be a sounding board during my own pregnancy.  Today, new-mom Rachel shares with us the importance of Mommy Mentors.

As a new mom, relationships with more experienced moms is crucial. Whether they have 20 years of mothering or just one, they have experience that a new mama just doesn’t have.

Most new moms look to their mothers for guidance, advice and help with everyday things. When you live hours from your mom, mother-in-law or grandmothers, it is important to be connected to women in your church, neighborhood or at work who can serve as a mentor to you and be there for you.

My husband is in ministry and throughout our marriage, we’ve lived away from our families. Thankfully, we have been blessed with close friends who are like family in our churches.

When I was pregnant with our son, there were 4 women that I was frequently turning to for advice. I was given tips for morning sickness, a pediatrician recommendation, breastfeeding advice and honesty when it came to postpartum recovery. I could ask these women anything about pregnancy, breastfeeding or mothering. They invested into me and I knew they cared for my baby and me.

Once he was born, I was turning to these same women and asking questions about his dry skin, cradle cap, sleeping, or whatever else I wanted advice on. The reason they were asked all these questions instead of my mom  - they were there with me, they could look at my son and give me advice, my mom was miles away and I could only describe the situation to her.

I became quite comfortable with the wonderful women surrounding, supporting and mentoring me in my mothering.

Then, when my son was 5 months old, my husband accepted a new position at a church 3 hours from our current church (and 3 hours further from my mom.)

I said goodbye to all the women who had been there for me -for us- during my pregnancy and Paxton’s first few months. It was hard; it really was like leaving family behind.

I knew it was crucial to begin establishing relationships with other moms who would mentor me. The first mom I met and established a friendship with in our new church is just a couple years older than me but has 2 sons older than my son and I know she will be someone I turn to for advice throughout the years.

The second week we were here, I attended my very first Mom’s Group at our church. What a blessing! The group is currently comprised of approximately 10 moms who have children ranging in ages from 10 to 3 weeks to babies on the way!

It has been wonderful to begin establishing these relationships with older, wiser mamas. We’re currently reading and discussing “The Power of a Praying Parent,” and I typically just sit and listen. These women are open and honest about the challenges and joys of parenting and I’m just thankful that I’e been blessed to find a group of women that I will be able to learn from.

As a new mama, you need women in your life who care for you and your child that will help you in your mothering!

Ways to find mommy mentors:

• Women in your small group
• Join a Mom’s Group or Women’s Bible Study
• Serve in your church; this is an excellent way to meet women with older children
• Meet your neighbors!

And experienced mamas, remember that new moms need someone to invest in them!

Where do you turn for pregnancy advice and a listening ear?  Have you developed relationships as a mentor? (I have to admit… I’m always a little afraid to “offer” to mentor.  I try to wait until someone comes to me with questions or concerns.)

Rachel’s blog, Frugal and Simple, is a breath of fresh air.  She’s a girl after my own heart.  I first “met” Rachel when she wrote a post for the Mommy, Come Home series.  She and her husband wisely planned and prepared for her to stay home with their children before she was even pregnant.