Ten Years

It was ten years ago today, the truck accident that took my 22 year old brother’s life, and the emotions came rushing.  A Facebook status from my sister this evening opened the floodgates that daily busyness had been holding back.

Our children had gone to bed, except for the 4 year old left singing a silly tune behind the closed bathroom door.  When she came out, she noticed the tissue to my nose, but not the tears in my eyes.

“Bloody nose, Mom?”


“Oh.  Just boogers, then?” 

That child!  Those children… and the one coming!  Unfathomable gifts, all given by a God who knows our desires even more than we do.  After three years of infertility, our first child was conceived right around what would have been Brett’s 23rd birthday, and was born just shy of the one year anniversary of his death.  We needed that. 

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…

Ephesians 3:20

This photo has nothing to do with anything… I just happen to find it hilarious (and maddening!) and know that my brother would, too.  The hilarious part.  Not the maddening.  He’d tell me to “chill.”  😉


  1. Anniversaries of tragic loss are difficult. Hugs for you and peace for your heart.

  2. I didn’t know about your brother. Learning this reminds me of something I read here on your blog a while ago along the lines of ‘the greatest gift you (as parents) can give your children is siblings.’ I know you must really cherish the precious, precious gift siblings truly are.

    Hugs and prayers for you as you celebrate his life and still mourn for the tragic loss of your sweet brother.

    • Yes! My mom is living that now, too. She’s one of 10 and while they’re all busy with their own families, they are trying hard to “take turns” helping their own aging parents. Siblings are so important for many, many reasons.

  3. Well, now, that just seals it. I most certainly need to move closer to you so that I can both hug you and giggle at that little explorer of yours!

  4. Reading your post prompted me to thank God yet again for my own brothers, who may be neck-and-neck with yours in “World’s Best Brother” status. Hugs to you, Amy. Thank you so much for sharing this! And I love the photo, too! 🙂

  5. *Hugs* losing a loved one is so tough! I lost someone close to me last year. She was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor a year ago, today and died 06/25/2011. As hard as it is to live life without her, knowing her, made me a better person.

    My prayers are with you:)

  6. Debbie Jennings says:

    Oh Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother to cancer. It will be 22 years on Father’s day that he went Home. It does get easier, but at times it will hit you right between the eyes like it did when it first happened. It will 5 years in November that my dear Mother went Home to join both of her sons and my Daddy. THAT one is the hardest to take. That and her birthday. It is OK to still grieve for our lost loved ones. I picture Mother either working in God’s garden, or rocking her first baby boy. He never drew a breath. May God bless you with the strength you need now and forever. Amen

  7. I understand!! We just “celebrated” the 10 year anniversary of my sister-in-law’s death (at age 38) in February. She would be so proud of how her 4 girls are turning out. It is difficult to think that she does not know my husband and has never met my son.

    But we do rejoice that she will meet them one day!

    Your comment about your daughter reminded me of that first year Amy was gone. Her kids (7, 5 and 2 1/2 yo) forced us to keep laughing and living as much as we adults just wanted to sit and cry.

    Know you are prayed for!

  8. I can’t imagine the pain of your loss, Amy but am smiling at your post and thankful for your faith. Oh… And your kids are quite hilarious too ;).

  9. I’m so sorry for your loss, Amy.

  10. Amy I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today. I also lost my brother 16 years ago in January and the anniversary is so hard sometimes. But having a little one to make me smile helps so much.

  11. I am so sorry for your loss. Death is a part of life but far from an easy one. May you find joy and strength in the memories you keep. I love the cute photo of your little boy!

  12. Cheryl Armstrong says:

    Amy thinking about you even though we have never met. I lost my brother when he was 18, that was 16 years ago. Looking forward to the day we can be together again!

  13. I LOVE that photo!!! And I’m so sorry to hear about your brother’s death. Those anniversaries can be really hard. What a gift from the Father to have your first baby during that difficult time. I have a good friend who found out she was pregnant just days after her brother went missing (he still has not been found and is presumed dead). She said it was a real affirmation of life and a reminder that God loved her and her family and would heal their pain.

  14. I’m so sorry to read about your loss of your beloved brother. I, too, lost my brother that year (June 4th) very suddenly, and know the pain you must have experienced. I named my firstborn in his honor, but it is my second who most reminds me of him daily. They are such a gift, and we know how precious our time is with them. Peace…

  15. The loss of your brother is tragic, but I am sure that it helps to look at that darling face! I have come back to this post 3 times now just to see that little mug holding a plunger. He reminds me of my 2 year old, but I hope for your sake he is a little less ornery, lol.

  16. I have just found you. Interestingly, I noticed the date. I to am sorry for your loss of your brother. So glad you have your kids to bring things into perspective. Live in the moment. If only we could learn from our kids and grand-kids.
    Blessings on you and your family.

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