Mommy Come Home: My Story

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Everyone has a story to tell. Especially every Mama fighting tooth and nail to do what’s best for her family.  Read that clearly, please:  what’s best for her family.

Our circumstances and situations are as varied as the excuses our children use to stay up just a little later… but we can still learn from, encourage, and respect one another.  That’s what this series is all about, and I am absolutely delighted with your positive response so far!

You’ll learn much more in the coming weeks about how and why we chose to make my staying at home a reality for our family, but here’s a start.

Before I met Lance, I had two loves:  teaching and children.  Since I had decided to become a teacher by about October of my kindergarten year, it was easy to fuse those two passions.  I practiced relentlessly, and will someday tell you all about our schoolroom in the basement of our church where I tortured my youngest brother and his friend into all sorts of learning.  It was official, people.  We held open houses and parent teacher conferences!

You could say I was driven.  Way back in the recesses of my teenage mind I know I thought of my future babies, but at the forefront were plans for my future teaching career.

Lance and I met during my junior year of college.  We lived two hours from one another, and thus endured a three year long-distance relationship.  (without email!)  When we married, I was in the middle of my second year of teaching, and he was volunteering as a coach at a Christian College.  I say that tongue-in-cheek because his official pay was room and board, plus enough to cover his vehicle payments.  And that was about it.

Needless to say, we needed my income.  Besides, I was thoroughly enjoying my teaching job, was well paid, and truly didn’t know that homemakers (with no children) still existed!

Six months later, when he secured his first high school teaching/coaching/paying job, we decided it was time.  By our ever-so-careful calculations, the baby would be born in March and I would take the rest of the school year off.  (Yay for generous sick leave.)  Great plan, right?  God’s Perfect Plan is not always ours, and I was still teaching full-time four years later.

While we had dreamed during our engagement and early marriage that I would stay home with the children, and immediately took financial steps to make it happen, there was just something about that three-year pruning that solidified our decision.  We would make this work.

I remember sitting down in my principal’s office (Oh, dear… now I’m tearing up.  I really loved that school and the people I worked with!) a few months into my pregnancy, prepared (but not really) to tell her what she already knew:  I was unwilling to leave my baby with a sitter all day.  “Amy, would you consider job-sharing?”  The opportunity I wouldn’t dare ask for, and she offered!

In a great whirlwind of events, Lance and I discussed it and prayed about it, my aunt offered to watch the baby in the mornings, and I wouldn’t have to go back to work until the baby was over 3 months old.  Done!

Those first few months are bleary.  I awoke at 4:30 to get myself and my baby girl ready for the day.  Left the house at 6:30.  Arrived at school at 7:15.  Taught and planned and graded and refereed from 7:30-11:30.  Raced back to get my baby girl.  Got home by 12:15.  Nursed her.  Ate my lunch (sometimes).  And crashed.  I was absolutely worthless by 1:00.  Baby and I napped together almost every day.

For two years this was our routine (minus the nursing in year two).  I still enjoyed my job, but it increasingly became a job and not a passion.  And it ever-so-slowly dawned on me that I was unable to give myself 100% to my husband, my girl, and my students Something had to give.

Midway through pregnancy #2, in my second year of job-sharing, Lance and I made the tough decision that I would stay home full-time after the end of that term.  It was tough not because I didn’t thrill at the idea of being home with my children, but because I knew that teaching was such a big part of my life.  It was bitter-sweet to give it up.

School ended in May and our baby boy was born in August.  I was, officially, a stay-at-home-mom of two.


I’ve received emails from so many of you who cherish your time at home. At the end of this series (it’s looking to be several weeks long!) I will put Mr. Linky up so we can all share our stories and be encouraged by one another.  Get busy writing and join us!

In the meantime, please hop on over to Carrie’s blog and be inspired by her coming home story.  I cry nearly every time I read her blog; usually it’s from laughter 😉 , but this time I was just so touched.  Carrie gave up a lot to gain even more. Thanks for sharing your story, Carrie!

Next week we’ll explore one of the biggest questions in the coming home decision:  Can we afford it? You can look forward to several different perspectives and lots of ideas from families who have made it work.

If you’d like to write a post for a topic on Mommy, Come Home please shoot me an email.  I’d love to have you share with us!

This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Comments

  1. I am looking forward to next week because this is our big question. We have ourselves accustomed to a two-income household, it is hard to think of it any other way.

  2. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Amy! I loved reading it, and seeing God’s hand in your life.

    Praying for blessings for you!
    Michele 🙂

  3. Thanks for sharing and for doing this series. I’m not a mom, yet, and one day hope to be. I, like you have a passion for teaching, and hope to teach college students for a while… but God has also been placing a desire on my heart to be at home with any future children He should bless us with, so I really look forward to the rest of your series!

  4. I know the feeling of having to give something up in order to stay at home and how hard it is for us at first.

    Thank goodness that God has other plans for us right??

  5. I am really loving this series! Can’t wait until the next one! Thanks for sharing your story with us.

  6. Enjoyed reading your story. What a blessing to be home with your children! I love staying home with my already-very-active (though her only mobility as of yet is rolling) almost-4-month old. What a treasure she is. I can’t imagine leaving her with someone else all day, and I’m thankful for a husband who works hard and *wants* me to be at home with her.

  7. Amy, your infertility story over at Tiniest of Miracles is just beautiful. What a difficult ordeal, and what a touching way of sharing it with us. Thank you.

    Pretty neat that you used to be a teacher, too…there are a lot of us out there! 🙂

  8. What a blessing to hear your story, Amy! God is good through all the pruning and making you into the mom He wants you to be!! 😀

  9. Its amazing, I just read you story and many posts in theis series, and you easily could have been writing my story. God’s plan is not our plan. Thanks for sharing your story and so many other great ones.

  10. Trying to comment on your post and having trouble. Great collection of thoughts! Thanks for including me. 🙂

Trackbacks

  1. […] is key. Early in our story, it was just assumed (by both of us) that I would stay home with the children while they are […]

  2. […] position to sharing a classroom with another part-time teacher.  I wanted to come home full-time, but was I really ready? I was partly sad to leave my job and partly nervous… we had planned, we had prepared, we had […]

  3. […] were easier. I never felt like I was doing the right thing, and, as Amy pointed out so brilliantly, my career became just a job. My master’s degree became a burden; student loan payments were among the bills keeping me at […]

  4. […] For two years this was our routine (minus the nursing in year two). I still enjoyed my job, but it increasingly became a job and not a passion. And it ever-so-slowly dawned on me that I was unable to give myself 100% to my husband, my girl, and my students. Something had to give.  Read more here… […]

  5. […] For two years this was our routine (minus the nursing in year two). I still enjoyed my job, but it increasingly became a job and not a passion. And it ever-so-slowly dawned on me that I was unable to give myself 100% to my husband, my girl, and my students. Something had to give.  Read more here… […]

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