Mommy Come Home: Get on Board

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Before we delve into making coming home work financially, it’s important to note:  both spouses have to be on board.

One of the absolute most important gifts you give to your children is your own strong marriage.

Two hearts knitted together, striving for the same purpose, can move mountains.  However, making the necessary sacrifices to stay home will not be worth the stress to your marriage if your husband is bitter about losing his sports channels or you are angry and upset about losing your status in the workforce.  Living on one income must be a team effort, as is the training and parenting and loving of your precious children.

Communication is key. Early in our story, it was just assumed (by both of us) that I would stay home with the children while they are young.  What neither of us was counting on was me falling in love with teaching.  By discussing it often, and praying together always, the transition to get me home went smoothly.

A few suggestions to facilitate communication:

  • Pray for your husband.  As head of the household, he carries a great burden.
  • Pray with your husband.  I cannot explain it, but when Lance and I are in a consistent prayer routine, everything about our relationship is more enjoyable.
  • Don’t hold back.  Don’t assume that your husband knows how you feel about coming home (or anything else for that matter!)  Our men need us to calmly, clearly verbalize our wants and needs.
  • Go to your husband with a written plan of action.  How would your being home full-time benefit your family?
  • Set aside a regular time when the two of you can dream together and set goals.  Think date night!

I was inspired by Audra’s story, in which she shares her faith and how she and her husband, Andrew, made the decision for her to come home.

…I explained my desires and frustrations to my husband, Andrew. He and I both wanted me to stay at home, but the funds just weren’t there. The numbers didn’t add up at the end of the month. I prayed fervently as I continued working. I went in for my night shift, exhausted, feeling as if I were a danger to my patients at times. My energy level was nearly zapped seeing as how I was still nursing every 2 hours at night and not getting a nap during the day. Oh, and let’s not forget mommy brain. I couldn’t remember what medication I was supposed to be giving, what patient just called for a urinal, or why I was standing in the kitchen break room looking for casting supplies. I wasn’t doing anyone any good, and I feared I would end up actually harming someone! Something had to give…

…I poured my heart out to my husband and told him my burden had been lifted. He was 100% okay with me resigning that night. So I did. I put my letter in my boss’ box with no fear, guilt, or worry. I knew God would take care of us, even if the numbers didn’t add up on paper right then…

Go here for the rest of Audra’s story, and be encouraged!

Next up in the Mommy, Come Home series:  What does it cost to work?

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Comments

  1. It can work but like you said, both parents have to be on board:-0

  2. Love your blog! Stop by mine when you get the chance, I nominated you for an award!

  3. I agree with everything above! Awesome story too… this is why even though we struggle, I won’t go get a night job because of being too tired. It’s not healthy for you or anyone else! I pray for my husband constantly. I wish he was comfortable enough to pray with me, it will happen one day!! I trust God to get us through anything!! Perfect post Amy!

  4. Great story! You captured many of the feelings I had 9 years ago when I made the decision to come home. It was a leap of faith for us too, but God does (and still is) provide.

  5. Having a strong marriage is at the center of being able to live off one income!! There is nothing worse than one spouse blaming the other for the extras they are missing. Also, if both spouses aren’t in complete agreement then one (or both) could end up sabotaging the situation by buying their own happiness that they think they are being deprived of.

Trackbacks

  1. […] 1. Amy at The Finer Things in Life wrote on her new series about marriage. Mommy Come Home: Get on Board. […]

  2. […] 1. Amy at The Finer Things in Life wrote on her new series about marriage. Mommy Come Home: Get on Board. […]

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