Mommy, Come Home: Choosing Your Lifestyle

by Amy on July 28, 2009

mch banner Mommy, Come Home:  Choosing Your Lifestyle

Tonight’s guest post is from Ellen, who blogs at Thrifty & Chic Mom.  Ellen’s perspective is timely, coming off the heels of my Leap of Faith post.

First of all I want to say thanks for the opportunity to share about being a SAHM; it is the best decision I ever made and it was very easy for me.

I have always wanted a family, and being a SAHM has always been my priority. I know it is not for everyone and can be hard in a world that is based on dual incomes. But when I became pregnant with my first child at 23 years old, one month after getting married and one month after graduating college, my husband and I decided we would make it work no matter what.

Well, there have definitely been some major financial struggles and we do not live a glamorous lifestyle, but I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. I have been home for every first for both of my girls; I have gotten to teach them about the world and they have taught me even more. I have also been pushed to my limits and challenged in ways I never knew possible. Couponing and my blog have helped me to stretch our budget and so has creativity.

When I decided to be a SAHM my husband and I did not take finances into account. I know it sounds crazy, but we made a lifestyle decision over a financial decision. To us, me being home with our kids was the most important thing and we would make sacrifices in other areas to make it work. At the time my husband was still in school.  He had 2 more quarters to go which put him graduating when I would be 6 months pregnant. He did work but he made hardly anything so I was the main provider. Even so I quit my job when it became too physically strenuous and worked part time for 2 months until I found a desk job. Upon graduation my husband searched for jobs with little luck so he kept working his retail job that he had from college.

In April my daughter was born and during my paid maternity leave my husband got a job. We were thrilled!  The only down side… he was making $7,000 less than I had been let alone what we made combined, but we didn’t flinch at that. At the end of my maternity leave I left my job.  My dream had always been to be a mom and raise my kids and my husband supported that. I will not lie and say it was easy — we took on a lot of debt that first year, but we made it through.

So here we are 4 years later and number 3 is due in less than 2 months. I am still a SAHM and no matter how tight money has gotten that has not changed. My husband works hard and does what it takes to provide an amazing life for us. We don’t drive new cars or go on fancy vacations, but the reward of being home with my girls is more than enough compensation. That is my becoming a SAHM story in a nut shell.

The only bit of advice I wish to impart is that there is no such thing as enough money to stay home; it is a lifestyle choice. You will never be able to afford the standard of living of 2 incomes on one income unless your husband suddenly gets a huge pay increase. So if you are waiting until you have enough money the day will never come.  Make the decision to be a SAHM because it is the lifestyle you want and the rest will follow. You will have to make sacrifices, but I have yet to find a sacrifice that isn’t worth it and I have made quite a few! You can catch more about being a SAHM in my weekly Saturday series SAHM I AM.

Thank you, Ellen, for sharing your story with us!

What do you think?  Do you choose your lifestyle by staying home?  How does that work for your family?

If you’ve missed a post in the Mommy, Come Home series, you can catch up here.

This post is linked to WFMW.

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Mommy, Come Home: What are Your Talents? : The Finer Things in Life
August 6, 2009 at 10:10 pm

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Stephanie July 29, 2009 at 6:24 am

This is so true, the real issue behind it all!

“The only bit of advice I wish to impart is that there is no such thing as enough money to stay home; it is a lifestyle choice”

I will say from experience though that transitioning to this lifestyle can be the hardest part. It takes time to learn to live on one income if you have never done it before. It takes time to learn how to live frugally, and to live without. Over the past few years I have learned so much, and I continue to learn more all the time!

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2 Jen @ Happy Little Homemaker July 29, 2009 at 10:28 am

You nailed it!!! That is exactly it. It’s a values statement, too. i value people more than the stuff I can buy them.

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3 Jenn @ Beautiful Calling July 29, 2009 at 2:13 pm

“The only bit of advice I wish to impart is that there is no such thing as enough money to stay home; it is a lifestyle choice.”

Completely agree! Finances can change in the blink of an eye and are certainly nothing to base a decision like this on!

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4 Susie's Homemade July 29, 2009 at 3:34 pm

I agree! You have to decide and once you do, the rest works itself out! Work being the operative word:-)

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5 Susan August 3, 2009 at 8:32 am

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Susan

http://ovarianpain.net

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6 Sherry August 5, 2009 at 3:10 am

Great post! I think if someone really wants or feels the need to stay at home they can make it work. It might mean that they need to move to a smaller home or cut back on eating out, but it is doable!

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7 Carissa Houston September 2, 2009 at 1:05 am

“…there is no such thing as enough money to stay home; it is a lifestyle choice.” Well said.

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