Catch up on the rest of the Mommy, Come Home series here.
Sometimes, you just don’t know. You could crunch the numbers forever. They may never add up even with the most prudent, the most frugal lifestyles.
One year after we decided I should be home full-time, a new job in a tiny town with a tiny salary found my husband. Yes… the job found him. He was not looking. We knew that eventually we’d like to move, but not at the time. At the time, we were comfortable. We had a plan.
God doesn’t always care for comfortable, and His perfect plan is not always our plan.
As we prayed and cried (well, that would be me doing the crying) over the new job for the weekend, we knew. Even when we looked at the 25% cut in salary, we knew. The numbers didn’t add up. The salary qualified us for state benefits, and yet we knew.
I clearly remember crying while laughing out loud to my husband through the tears, “We’re going to do this, aren’t we? People are going to think we’re nuts! But this is what we’re supposed to do!”
So he took the job and we moved and through a series of absolute miracles (selling our house in under 24 hours for a nice profit, buying a house that we hated for a very low price… and then discovering beautiful wood floors and other such things that made our house a home that we now love) we earn less than we have in the 10 years of our marriage, but seem to have more than ever in our 10 years of marriage.
If you’re confused; well, so am I. That shouldn’t happen. It can’t be logically explained. But it is what it is.
For some of you, you’re waiting “just a few more months” until your income is stable, your schooling is over, your debt is paid, your savings is built up, etc. etc. before you start your family. Others of you are putting off coming home for the same incredibly valid reasons.
There is very little that is a sure thing in this life. Financially, I don’t think anything can be certain. One thing I do know for sure is that my children are growing up fast. Too fast. I don’t want to miss a thing.
Another thing I know? God is faithful. He holds us in the palm of His hand and knows our every desire. He asks us to put our trust in Him; not in our salary, or our 401K, or our future financial plans.
Sometimes… to follow His will, to achieve our dreams, we must take a leap of faith.
Do not lay up for yourselves an earthly treasure… Make it your practice instead to store up heavenly treasure… Remember, where your treasure is, there your heart is also. Matthew 6:19-21
Another great post. I have heard that from many people that they can’t quit working. It is always a balance and priorities. I made more than my husband, but I love staying home and work very hard to sustain us with his salary. We all couldn’t be happier.
Amy, this post is so true. I am happy that you put into words what I know in my heart. As an ex-math teacher, I am always thinking about the numbers and trying to make our budget work. Sometimes I have no clue how it comes together, but it always does. God is faithful!
Amy, I’ve noticed the exact same phenomenon in my 35 years of marriage. My ten year maternity leave was followed just a few years later by the necessity of working only half time in order to care for my mom…and somehow, we are thriving financially. When I look back over our 35 years of tax records (two years with NO taxable income) I see the only explanation is God’s grace! We place our trust in Him, cry out to Him, and follow Him…and grace flows.
In His grace with you,
Linda (Melinda’s Mom)
When I decided to come home, the numbers really didn’t add up. There was no way we could make it without my salary. My husband had a part-time job that paid only, well, a part-time salary. But we knew it was the right thing to do. We had about 3 months of expenses saved up so we had a small safety net, until I “found another job”. Well, 6 months later we were still going strong. We needed $400 to cover our expenses each month and I did some part-time childcare for friends during that time. Both families didn’t have a lot so I asked them to pay me what they thought they should. Would you believe I made exactly $400 each month?
That was four years ago. A lot has changed in those years. But we have never gone without anything we needed or been in the red, ever. We haven’t always had a lot of extra $$ but always just enough and quite often a little extra, too!
During that time of my transition from work to home, I read a lot of blog stories of how women came home and were able to save the amount of money they were making before by careful home management or that they were able to make the same amount from home or that the husband got a raise. That discouraged me for a while because we really didn’t see that happen in our lives, until my husband reminded me that it wasn’t about the money but that our lives were so much richer because I was home and making our home a nicer place to be because I wasn’t stressed out all the time.
It is a leap of faith and in my case, I’ve found that God is always faithful!
Amen!! I have an incredibly large amount of student loan debt thanks to law school. I SHOULD be working — right?!?! My husband is a teacher in one of the lowest paying states for teachers — I SHOULD be working — right?!?! Nope. I’m at home with my two young children. We have no reason to be making ends meet except God. And (I’m scared to even “type” this because it still seems so unreal that someone will come by and take it away from us) we just purchased our very first “home” — a condo that doubled our living space and has been a complete and total blessing! We would never have been able to do that in our overpriced market a few years ago, but it happened and here we are!
I SHOULD NOT be at home when you look at our “balance” sheet, but I am and I am thankful (mostly) every single day!
Just like there is never “the perfect” time to start a family, there might not ever be the perfect time to stay home. But somehow it works out.
Our move from CO to OH sounds very similar to what you went through. We had talked and looked to move for years. Nothing ever came of anything we tried.
One night my sister (who lived in NE but was moving in a couple of years back to OH) said “you shouldn’t move just anywhere, you should move to be near someone. Why not look in OH”. You know how teaching jobs go, that was in the fall. In the spring my dh had looked all over on google for a high school near Cleveland that offered a particular program. He found one, but no job listings. he came home and told me about it. We talked late into the night to decide if we should pursue looking for a job at that time or wait another year. We decided to go for it.
The next morning, dh looked again at the job postings at the only school in the entire area that offered IB and there was a history position open. He called, they were particularly looking for an IB teacher. Long story short, he interviewed, got the job out of 240 applicants, our house sold just before the housing market plummeted and here we are. God is always faithful.
Oh, Amy! I couldn’t agree more. I definitely had the same experience. When God moved it was quick and we realized we needed to move with Him. It’s so comforting to know that you experienced a similar journey.
Blessings to you,
Beth
I hear you, Amy!! We, too, took a leap of faith last year when my husband left a teaching job of 11 years, tenured job security, to take a position that, too, found him when he wasn’t looking or ready to leave. Our hometown high school…we had to do it! We prayed before every round of decision making he had, and everything just fell into place…not having to force it to happen…it just happened. It was truly God’s plan, and this year turned out to be the best year of our married life… I saw him more than the past eight years of marriage. God knew that neither one of us could go on another year with and hour and a half commute each way, and our children couldn’t go another day not seeing their father only on Sunday’s. It was His will, and for that we are grateful! What a nice post! If we’re just willing to hear Him, we need to trust that everything will work itself out!
What a beautiful post and one that has certainly resonated with many others as well!
We were $500 short each month when we decided I should stay home. We decided to do it anyway and eat into my retirement if we needed to. We were certain that God would provide and we’d be fine.
Would you believe I started receiving an inheritance (that was four years coming) one month after that? Guess how much??
Yep! $500 a month! God is GOOD!
We are in such a season of budgeting by faith. It is so exciting to see how God provides for us, I will admit that at times it just seems so illogical to do this! Yet each month, I am more and more amazed at how He provides!
Well said and as many others said in similar words, I too am amazed at all that God provides for me and my family. Sometimes I look around my life and wonder why do I spend so much time worrying?
Perfectly said, Amy!
Amy – I love this story! My husband and I have so many stories where we just did the next right things even though it might not have been the “acceptable” thing to do – and we’ve always been blessed beyond measure.
Well said!!!
Numbers, our plans, our resources – none of that can be trusted. I had too much faith in our savings and excellent income. That all changed in a heartbeat. One minute the income was there…and then it wasn’t.
It was then that I realized that though I had thought I was trusting God, I wasn’t completely. But He is faithful and when we depend on Him for our needs, we will find that He meets them when it doesn’t seem possible!
I’m reading Dr. Luara’s book–In Praise of SAHM. I am lucky to work from home and be the one raising my girls. I don’t however want to make single moms feel horrible about their situation. I also struggle with my friends who have spent HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars on advanced degrees. It is very hard to turn away from that investment. Just some things to think about. Thanks for this thoughtful post.
I am currently a working mom – or at least I work 3/4 of the year. I am a teacher and my husband has a full time professional job. We have a 4 year old daughter that we love and cherish.
Teaching seems like the ideal profession for a mom, but I just know my daughter is better off at home right now. She has meltdowns after a full day of preschool, and is so tired. When we are home in the summer she loves life – plays all day with neighbor kids, gets yummier foods because mommy has more time to cook, and well, most importantly, has mommy there whenever she needs me.
She has talked to me a bit about the dread she feels about mommy going back “with the big kids” in the fall. It doesn’t seem to appease her that she will be on site with me – I work at an amazing Christian school that is P-12.
I’ve also crunched the numbers and they don’t work – the big number that I can’t make work is the increased cost of health insurance if I don’t work.
And, quite honestly, I keep thinking that it’s only one more year until she’s school age and would be in school the hours I’m working. And, she has the opportunity to go to an amazing Christian school that I could never afford if I stayed at home.
Since I only have 1 who is only one year away from Kindergarden, I am so torn. If I had to act in her current best interest (what would best serve her over the next year), I would bite the $$$ bullet and take a “leap of faith.” But I don’t know that doing what is best for the next year would serve her best over the next 15 years. And that is my dilemna.
Thanks for another fantastic post. Each one you put forth just reaffirms for my husband and I that we made the right decision for me to stay home. We’d been discussing it and had figured out our own timeline, but before we could work toward that timeline very much, things just fell into place. While our budget leaves us not quite in the black, we know that now is the right time. God just made things happen for us that we couldn’t make happen on our own.
Thank you so much for this!! I’ve just found your blog and love this series. I have a 7 month old daughter and have been taking her to work (I clean house & nanny for a family) with me since she was 6 weeks old. I’ve always wanted to stay at home and my husband and I thought this would be great- I could be with the baby and still make good money.
It’s been so hard. I don’t get a break from being a mom like someone who works out of the home.
So I quit!! Today is my last day. I am thrilled and scared to be a true stay at home mom!!
I don’t know how the money is going to work. We’ve done what we can with the budget and we’re praying that my husband will get some overtime to help get the last couple of credit cards paid off.
I’m working on a post for my blog…
Thanks for sharing your experience and your faith. It comes at an important time for me, as my husband and I are weighing the decision for me to quit my part-time employment in favor of being a full-time stay-at-home mommy to our sweet little ones. The numbers aren’t as we’d like them to be, but your reminder of trusting in God to provide is wise. Thank you.
Amen! I too did this, and logically none of it made sense but somehow, even 2 years later. God makes it work, month after month. God is faithful.
Hi! I can from Jen’s linky and I love this post. What a scary thing – and it came out so well. It’s hard to take those leaps, I know. Wonderful post!!
“God doesn’t always care for comfortable, and His perfect plan is not always our plan.”
Thank you. Needed that.
Blessings!
Hannah
ps. Found you through Jen’s linky loo.
Wonderful testimony to what God can do! I stopped working 6 months ago, and leaving things in His hands we find that we still seem to have the same amount of $ as when I brought home an income… odd? No, God!
Good for you!
God is so good, isn’t He. I needed to read this post today. My husband and I have just recently made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom to our 4 young children (ages 2-10) On paper, we will barely make it, but we are confidant that this is the move that God wants from us. I know that He will provide! Thanks again for your posts!