His alarm goes off, I roll over. He gets in the shower. I get breakfast. He wakes the kids. I get them ready for school. He leaves for work. The kids come home. He comes home. We go to a ballgame, or we don’t. Suppertime. Bath time. He prays with the kids. We tuck them in. I work at the computer. He watches tv or plays a wii game. I take a bath. We go to bed.
The rut of the day to day is there for survival. It’s not a bad thing to have the security of knowing what comes next, and who’s in charge. It’s perfectly fine to do the same thing over and over if it’s working well for you!
If it’s not working for you, though? Or even if it is, but you’d like to inject a little spontaneous fun into your fine marriage, there are simple things you can do to spice up that delightful routine.
Every schedule and situation is different. I’m in the unique position of living pretty much across the street from where my husband works, and being home most every day. With his schedule and day to day location, what works for us may or may not work for you. Use these ideas (some of which I do, and some of which I should!) as a springboard for your own creativity.
Oh, and ladies. I know some of you out there are thinking “What in the world? Amy thinks I should do all this when my husband won’t notice, won’t care, and won’t reciprocate?” Well, I can’t help you there. I do know, though, that with my own marriage, regardless of what my husband’s doing, if I put in 100%, he always ups the ante.
The Morning Rut
- Sneak out of bed while he’s in the shower and warm up a towel for him in the dryer. Better yet, sneak out of bed and join him! “Water Conservation” (Did I just say that?!)
- Enjoy breakfast together before waking the children.
- Slip a love note into his briefcase or pants pocket.
- Pucker up for that goodbye peck. Linger a little!
- Smile. Get your day started without the grump.
The Daytime Rut
- Send a quick email, just because. I love these one-liners!
- Surprise him during the day with a cold drink. (My favorite is to walk to school with a homemade Frappé during lunch break. Makes his students jealous. Makes him smile.)
- Hold off on the litany of “what went wrong today” when he walks in the door. That’s no way to be greeted.
The Evening Rut
- Take over one of his responsibilities, so he can “veg out” a while.
- Get off the blasted computer! (Totally talking to myself here.) Put the smart phone away! Even one or two nights a week is better than nothing.
- Take turns giving massages during your favorite tv shows.
- Attempt to go to bed before your eyes glaze over in front of the tv and you pass out on the couch.
- Be the instigator. Of good things.
While The Rut is fine and good and necessary, spicing up the routine every once in a while may take your marriage from fine to fabulous!
What rut-busting ideas work for your marriage?