I Want to Want To

EIL-June-1955-04(photo source)

I want to want to be the Crafty Mom who engages her children’s senses at every turn, patiently producing clever masterpieces each afternoon and never resorting to the tv after nap time.

I want to want to get up early and be dressed for the day and spend time reading and in meaningful prayer before my little ones wake and I get breakfast and change diapers and look at the clock and my dirty sleep shirt and it’s mid-afternoon.

I want to want to buy organic everything and not allow any processed foods in my home, nourishing my family with every delicious bite they consume.

I want to want to redeem my high school home ec. sewing mishaps and pull out the machine (that I don’t own) to whip a stitch or repair a button or create a costume.

I want to want to scrub with only homemade cleaners made with lemon juice and vinegar, ensuring the lowest toxicity for my home and my family.

I want to want to sooth my children’s every ill with natural remedies created with herbs that I tenderly grow on my windowsill.

I want to want to exercise six days a week, thirty minutes each day, alternating target areas, balancing strength and cardio, regaining the peak fitness and energy I enjoyed nearly 5 years ago.

I want to want to greet my husband at the door each day with a lipsticked smile, neatly coiffed hair (whatever that is), and a kiss like I mean it.

I want to want to make my noodles and my tortillas and my bagels and my english muffins (think I’m missing gluten much?!) from scratch, using freshly ground whole wheat flour.

I want to want to sing and dance and ride my bike and be the Fun Mom, so my kiddos can be the envy of every Tiny Town child.

But I don’t (always).  And I can’t (sometimes).  And I won’t.  And… I shouldn’t. At least, not all at once.  Not all right now.

Right now I’m the mom who sleeps as long as the baby sleeps each morning, because I’m the mom who is often up in the middle of the night with the same baby.  I’m the mom who is going to buy a few boxes of Rice Chex in the morning, because going gluten-free is tricky and eggs can be eaten only so many days in a row.  I’m the mom who has 47 projects started and would do cartwheels to finish even one.

And that’s okay.

It’s important to have goals.  It’s necessary to learn and implement new ideas to make life healthier and fun.  It’s good to strive for better.


Not all at once.  Not all in this season.  Good enough is good enough!

If you’re in a busy season (who isn’t?!) of getting by… of good enough, take heart.  You’re not alone!  Keep dreaming.  Keep learning and working toward your goals, but keep it real!

What do you want to want to do… but you don’t?

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  1. Yes, Yes, Yes. Thank you for writing this. It’s encouraged and inspired me! 🙂

  2. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I had gotten discouraged the other day about some of these very things and needed to hear this. A friend reminded me that God can do amazing things – even protect my children from my mistakes. Maybe sometimes I should remember that God can even protect my children from my best efforts 😉

  3. I could copy quite a bit of your list, I think! I’m trying to make some changes before the baby comes, but I’m sure a lot of it will go right out the door when she arrives. lol

    And that’s OK!

    p.s. I love what Jackie said. God definitely can protect our families despite what we do or don’t do. What a gracious God we serve! 🙂

    • You are right. That’s OK! Enjoy that sweet baby when she comes. Soon she’ll grow up and be able to HELP with all the “want to’s”.

  4. I want to slow down but I know, that I won’t.

  5. Oh wow. Just wow. Hmm.

    Your “I WANT TO” list is my to-do list. And I was doing most all of it faithfully. And then our newest addition blessed the family and I’m walking around in a sleep deprived baby haze feeling like I’m missing some vital thing that will allow me to do it all. I’ve struggled with it, but had to realize I have to pick my priorities and let some things fall to the wayside for now. I’m having to learn all over again what I can and cannot accomplish in a day and give myself permission to do just that. Reading your post was a great encouragement.

    • You and me both! Amazing how a baby can knock us off our rocker, huh? (Wouldn’t trade him for all the rockers in the world, though.) 🙂

  6. Amy Hersh-Brown says:

    Ah, a voice of encouragement. Thank you!

  7. I want to slow down and remember these as the good days, time moves too fast. I want to remember LOVING that feeling of total craziness when my boys are playing “knock out” and my daughter is fretting abt what happend at school that day and the house is trashed cause we LIVE in it…I always try to tell myself, these are the days I will miss, when they are grown!

  8. I want to want to do so many things. I want to cook beautiful, nutritious meals, sew beautiful handmade clothes and other things and have a slim, beautiful body by excersising daily. I want to want to do those things but I don’t. I spend that time playing with my daughter, keeping our house clean and cooking normal, time saving meals.

  9. Yes! I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed with all the changes I think we need to make as a family and how I want to be a different (cooler, more fun) mom.
    Thank you for the encouraging words. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

  10. Sure if I made a list there are many things that I could add. As a single parent working full time outside the house I do what I can exactly at the place I am at today. I didn’t choose to be single, it just happened. I like to look at other sites for ideas, but can only implement a few. God knows my situation and continues to give me the strength I need. We are not perfect and can often get caught up in what other parents may show in public (or what they write on their blog). I enjoy that your site is very uplifting and positive while at the same time refreshingly real.

  11. Stephanie says:

    This is the Amy I love to read 🙂 Awesome post!!

  12. This is why I don’t leave your blog feeling discouraged–you don’t use your blog as your brag page.

    And if you already did all these things, I wouldn’t be known by your children as the Friend With a Sewing Machine Who Cleans Your House. : )

  13. oh yeah the natural cleaners are on my want list…but honestly they work just grand if you do it frequently enough. By the time I get around to toilet scrubbing I need something industrial strength.
    So I wish I wanted to clean at all and I wish I wanted to exercise. I really do want my house to be chemical free and sparkling and I want my body to be strong and healthy without belly fat (or chin fat), but I do not want to do what it takes to get those things! Why oh why can’t I want to clean and exercise?!?
    OK, I feel better having gotten that out. Thanks for the post!

  14. I guess it really is about priorities, isn’t it. I’m not superwoman, and I won’t accomplish my most important goals if I’m over extended.

    So many of the things I long for perfection in are important (exercise, healthy food), but they are ultimately earthly. I struggle to remember that the most important things involve character, personal discipline, etc. Sometimes, there is time for developing those earthly things and using them to point my family toward heaven, and sometimes there isn’t. Thanks once again for the reminder that I need to continue to pursue my priorities in life.

  15. Thank you so much for the post… I’ve been really hard on my self lately and this post has reminded me to love MY good enough…

  16. I really like this post, Amy! I want to do those things too (and so much more), but…I can’t do everything at one. I can’t be perfect. And…I love that you reminded us that it’s okay.


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