As with the vast majority of my “advice” posts, I’m writing this as a reminder to self.
When things get out of control in the house – fighting children, someone disobeying or not listening, chaos ensuing – my knee-jerk reaction is sometimes to get big and loud. Get their attention from across the room. Raise my own voice. Show them what they sound like, as I stomp over to let them know who’s boss. (Yes. Very mature, mom.)
That works if high blood pressure and tears are the goal. Me? I’d rather not spend the rest of the day as Queen of the Loser Moms, though.
What’s most effective for me when I need a child’s attention or need someone to knock it off right now? I lower my voice. Get small, kneeling at their level. Whisper, even. An amazing thing happens when I react quietly.
They get quiet, too.
They listen, because they have to. I’m whispering, remember? We all calm down and can assess the situation without a loud, ugly fight. Even if the entire problem can’t be solved right at that moment, we can be close. And quiet. And civil. Peaceful, even.
A peaceful home really works for me!
What is your knee-jerk reaction when something is amiss with your children?