This arrived in my inbox on August 11 from a blog-reading friend:
Hi Amy,
I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you as you go through the final weeks of your pregnancy. I hope it’s going well and the heat’s not doing you in.
Could you use any help in the last few weeks, since it sounds like that burst of nesting energy isn’t kicking in?
If you’re wanting to do an OAMC day or just need help and encouragement to clean up the house or whatever, I’d be glad to come down for a morning or a day and give you a hand.
Seriously, I’d like to do this for you if it would help you out.
Let me know, k?
Yes, seriously! And yes, she came today!
I now have sheets for the baby’s bassinet and my kitchen cabinets and walls are clean for the first time in I don’t know how long. And… she brought supper, with enough to freeze for after baby.
All that, and my children were thoroughly entertained. (Guess who doesn’t own a sewing machine and wouldn’t know what to do with it if she did?!)
I am beyond grateful. While my nesting desire has finally kicked in (a little false labor every few days will do that to a girl!) my energy and ability are nil. The baby’s head is firmly planted quite low and is causing quite a lot of hip and groin discomfort. I walk like I’m about 80 years old and sleep doesn’t come easily these days (or nights!) It’s all good, though, and such a great reminder that we should be holding and loving on this sweet babe in 2-3 weeks!
It’s a great reminder, too, that not only do sleep-deprived new moms need our support and encouragement, but there is also much we can do for moms in their final weeks of pregnancy. I’m usually pretty consistent about taking a meal to a family with a newborn, but what do I do for moms in those last tired, uncomfortable, emotional days of pregnancy? Hmmm… perhaps the question is what should I be doing for them?
- Send food. Oftentimes a woman’s appetite decreases in those last few days/weeks because there’s all sorts of squishing going on with that big ol’ baby. Not much room in the stomach for a real meal, but the rest of the family still wants to eat! Add decreased energy with decreased appetite, and mom could use some help with meals.
- Entertain the children. Saturday night some friends kept our kids for the evening while my husband and I enjoyed our “last hurrah” before baby comes. We went out to eat and to watch a movie. Other than the contractions that left me sweating in my theater seat for an hour, it was lots of fun! We hashed out girl names (still don’t have a girl name!) and were refreshed for the coming chaos.
- Run errands. Heading to the grocery store? Give mom a call to see if she needs anything. My aunt has always been good about this, which is such a blessing since we live 15 miles from the nearest store. With my inconsistent “baby brain” memory, it’s nice to add a couple of forgotten items to her list.
- Clean up. This one’s hard for me. Not so much to do it for someone else, but to accept the help. However… now that the walls in my kitchen are free of grease and other ick, I’m starting to see the light!
- Sneak a treat. Do you know mom’s favorite indulgence? (Caramel Frappe, please!) Surprise her with it!
- Pamper her. I’m one of the lucky ones. All things considered, I feel really good throughout my pregnancies. However, it is getting a bit tricky to reach my toenails.
Nothing boosts the mood and energy of mom-to-be than a little pampering. Surprise her with her favorite bath products. Take her out on a pedicure date. Anything to make her feel less frumpy… less tired… less big. (By the way, I think this would be a fun “second baby shower” idea for a mom who has already had the formal shower(s) with her first baby.)
What are some ways you’ve encouraged and supported your friends in their last few days and weeks of pregnancy? If you’re a mom-to-be, what would make you feel loved?
I’m so glad you got help!
I’m a postpartum doula, but also a recently postpartum mom, and many of those suggestions ring true! I also happened to be in the middle of a move in the last few weeks of my pregnancy (“moving day” was one week before my due date!), so my best suggestion would be uncommon for most (help her pack 
) But I definitely agree with help clean- you can’t clean the bathtub when you have a big ol belly in the way, and by the end of my pregnancy, I wasn’t giving my daughter a bath anymore, because I was afraid she’d come out dirtier than she went in- don’t worry, she got clean somehow. 
I desperately wanted a pedicure. I don’t paint my toes, but I my feet could have used some attention. And food, of course. And a massage- it didn’t have to be by a professional, but a backrub felt great! And just company, conversation. If that’s all you have to offer, that’s a lot!
My mom said she felt so much worse the last month of pregnancy than she did the first month after the baby’s birth. It might be more fun to take dinner over after the birth so you can hold the brand-new baby, but often it’s those last few pregnant weeks that the help is needed most. I’m glad there are friends to help you now!
I always take a meal or offer to help after the baby is born, but I’ve never thought about helping out before! Thanks for sharing the sweet idea your friend had and inspiring me to help out my pregnant friends and family members!
Thanks so much for the tips! I’m a mom of an *almost* 2-year old, and I have a few friends who are due in a few weeks.
I didn’t have much help at all before or after my little one is born, so I’m really aware of how much new moms need it! It’s been almost 2 years though, so these hints really help me remember specifics of what I can do to make the last few weeks easier.
God bless you and your family while you wait for your little bundle to come into your arms! and I hope you have more friends surround you and pamper you as you wait!
I love your suggestions, especially about sending food and running errands (e.g., grocery shopping). Housekeeping can slide somewhat, but everyone still needs nutritious food.
I’ll add one thing: if you know a mom who’s on bed rest, do what you can to break the monotony of her day. Even with kids around, it can be really boring to just lie on the couch or in bed all the time! Call or visit for a chat, take her a new DVD or book, etc. I and several friends have done this for bed-ridden pregnant moms, and the favor came back around to me when I was on bed rest at the end of my pregnancy. It made me feel much better just for someone to call and say, “How are you?”
I was 10 days late with my new baby girl. The best thing one of my friends did for me was to keep arranging very flexible social outings with us. We went shopping in a fun part of town, had a BBQ at my house, played in their backyard, etc. Not only did she and her kids help wear out my 2 year-old when I lacked the energy to run around with him, but all these little dates helped keep my mind off the fact that I. was. still. pregnant!
After 2 horrible experiences with first trimester morning sickness, I’ve started bringing a meal to newly-pregnant moms. It’s always appreciated since she doesn’t have to deal with all the food smells in her kitchen, and she knows her family will have a good meal, even if she’s stuck on the couch all day.
I completely agree with cleaning a pregnant mom’s bathtub, too. I wish I’d had the guts to ask someone to do that for me, but I’d already let it go too far!
Since you’re still looking for a girl name, I’m putting out the offer for Alison…I mean, it’s served me well all these years!