Finer Things Friday: The Ears

She’s been asking for years.

She notices other girls and their ears, and she wonders why she can’t wear earrings.  And then she forgets about it.  And then she brings it up again.  Forgets.  Brings it up.

A year ago, or two, we set a date.  The Eighth Birthday.  Do you have any idea how fast a year or two flies by?

“Oh, that wasn’t so bad!”

It was important to me that she be old enough to care for them herself.  (I really didn’t want to add to my responsibilities for something frivolous.)   It was important to her dad that she be graduated and living away from homePoor daddy. 😉

Waiting for something special until just the right time?  A Finer Thing.

If you have girls, are their ears pierced?  Did you wait for a special occasion or certain age?  What are your ear-piercing criteria?

What Finer Things are you celebrating this week? Link up and let us know!


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  1. Hubs and I were just talking about this TODAY! I say 9 years old, he says 7. I had to wait until I was 13!

    • Has your daughter asked? How old is she now?

      • My daughter is 5. She’s brought it up a couple of times but not really in a ‘i really really want it’ sort of way. I’m going to put of any sort of decision until she’s asking every day!

  2. I was never interested myself, so I only pierced my ears when I was 17… I say whenever they can look after the cleaning themselves.

  3. So cute! My mom has been begging me for years to let her pierce my daughters’ ears. My oldest turns ten this fall and my mom is trying to convince her that this year is the best time to do it since she is turning double digits.

  4. My mom made me wait until I was 9 and I thought that was a good age. Same reasoning as you, when my girl (whenever I have a girl) is old enough to take care of them herself we’ll let her stab holes in them. However, if my boys ask for earrings, I say “Oh heck no!”

  5. This brings back memories! For my 10th birthday my parents took me to get my ears pierced! I was thrilled to say the least and not knowing in advanced eased my nerves about it hurting (I was a worrier as a child!!)

    Your sweet girl looks beautiful with her new pierced ears!!

  6. How cute! Aubrey asks if she can get her ears pierced occasionally as well but hasn’t been persistent enough yet. 😉 I agree with waiting until they can take care of them. My parent’s made me wait until I was 16! They must not have thought I was responsible enough to care for them until I was in high school…hee, hee!

    • I did NOT remember that you had to wait until 16! (You’d think I would remember since we pretty much lived together and all…HA!)

  7. Jessica says:

    Nope. We’ll see when she brings it up … she’s only 5. She likes the little sticky ones and thinks I’m crazy for having holes in my ears. I got mine done when I was 10. I passed out cold, right into the arms of the poor lady who was doing them. Bet she never forgot that day!

  8. Hmm, I guess we must be the strict parents on the block. 😉 We’ve told our daughters that they can get their ears pierced when they’re twelve.

    I’m interested in seeing if my ten-year-old actually takes us up on that. While she was the one who pushed for us to set an age, she also avoids pain at all costs, so we’ll see what happens when the time comes.

    Have a great weekend!

    • When we were at the mall, some old friends from another town strolled by. They had two girls. The 5yo had hers pierced, the 7yo did not. She did NOT want it done, and the dad even said they “tried to talk her into it.” I think that goes to show that you really do need to consider what the children *want.* No need to put them through something like that if they’re not ready.

  9. I’m one of ‘those’ moms who had their ears pierced as infants. All my friends were shocked, because I’m not a person who you would expect to do this. I felt that they would definitely want their ears pierced, and I just remember it being so traumatic – something I very much wanted but was so scared of, and as infants it wasn’t scary to them. Additionally, I was able to take care of cleaning their ears, so there was no infection, no holes growing up or anything like that. I checked with their pediatrician for any concerns before doing it. Earrings were easy because we used screw-backs for years. I was always very careful to choose earrings that wouldn’t poke them behind their ears or dangle. They are 14 and 10 now, and are glad I did it. I am such a traditional person that in some ways it still surprises me that I did something that was not mainstream, but I don’t actually have any regrets about it. It worked out very well for us.

    • Hehehe — “one of *those* moms.” 😉 I appreciate your comment, even though that would not be my choice at all, because it shed light on the “What was that mom thinking?!” thing for me. HA! Seriously, though, thank you for opening my mind a bit to the reasoning! And I’m glad it worked out well for you. 🙂

  10. I’m 27 and don’t have my ears pierced. My sisters each got theirs done at 13, but I opted not to.
    My sister’s rule for her girls is that when they can get a shot/finger stick at the doctor’s without crying, they can get their ears pierced. I guess that means I’m still out of luck. 😉

    • LOL for you, but that’s another indication that they might be ready!

      • AND because I’ve been wanting them for a while, but have been chicken, but keep seeing all these little girls who get them, so clearly it can’t be too bad:
        I went all by myself to the piercing studio to get my ears done, and I must say they are quite pretty.
        So thank you for the push! 🙂

  11. My mom had my ears pierced as an infant. The same with my two sisters. I dont think any of us were ungrateful. In high school (~14 YO) I had my second holes pierced. When I was 16 Mom took me for my navel ring. My mom is not super traditional or super modern. She got her nosed pierced at 45 and I took her for her first tattoo for her 50th birthday. She also has her 1st, 2nd and 3rd holes in each ear! I love my Mom!!! <3

    • This comment cracks me up and is a perfect example of how we all have our own little culture. Around here, your mom would be considered *super modern.* 😉

  12. Your daughter is so cute! I don’t have kids but when I was young my parents made me wait until I was 15 to get my ears pierced. The funny thing was after my Mom saw that the piercing didn’t hurt me, she and my Aunt went and got theirs pierced too! Our small town jeweler made a lot of sales to the 3 of us after piercing our ears!
    I am sharing my recipe for Coconut Pineapple Muffins. This recipe is gluten free, but can be made with “regular” flour if you don’t have issues with gluten.
    Thanks for hosting!

  13. Dina S. says:

    I had my daughter’s ears pierced when she was about 3 months old. She didn’t cry and she was too young to pull on them or mess with them so they healed very quickly.

  14. My husband and I can’t decide on 8 or 12 for our daughter. Both ages go with special events in our church- baptism at 8, leaving the kid’s group for the young women group at 12. I’m guessing by 12, she will be really anxious to do it, so maybe 8 will be better. I’ll have to see if she asks about it too. She’s only 2 now, so it is not anywhere on the radar yet.
    Personally, I was under 10 when I got my first holes done, and I think I was 12 or so for my second set. In high school, my ambition was to get 6 holes along one ear so I could put in a rainbow (which had no significance other than I liked rainbows). I did end up with 6 holes in one cartilage, two holes in the lobe in one ear and three holes in the other lobe. My mom was fine with us piercing ears but anything else was out of the question, so I just got my ears done repeatedly. I took them all out when I turned 18 and only wear one set now. The holes are still not closed (8 years later) and are permanent scars/discoloration, which I hope to use to convince my daughter (and son) not to do anything quite so silly.

    • I think that’s a fabulous idea on waiting for a special event and making it an occasion.

      Ok, since you’ve had it done and now you don’t use them, maybe you can answer a popular question… what’s the “appeal” of multiple cartilage piercings? Is it a “peer” thing at the time?

      • I think at the time it was a safe way to be a bit more individual. I have two sisters, and my older sister had several piercings (including later a tongue and navel) and my little sister has several ear piercings. They also both got tattoos at a relatively young age. It wasn’t really rebelling either, since my mom sanctioned ear piercings, but it was a safe way for me to say “okay, I’m a little bit different in this way”.

        For me, it wasn’t my peers. I had the most piercings of the group. Most of my friends weren’t into piercings at the time. I didn’t run with the goth crowd or anything. We didn’t really have a stereotype outside of typical American teenager. (We were an eclectic group- some theater, some dance, some brainy non-participators, a gay Hispanic boy. No one thing really tied our group together.) But it was something that I was comfortable with, that I could take hold of and make mine. I would never pierce my nose or my tongue, or get a tattoo. I liked it because it wasn’t really permanent (At least that was my thought at the time. I didn’t realize the holes would stick around indefinitely), and it was something that was easily hidden. I never got into the bars or gauging or anything really outlandish- just simple hoops. (Even now, I only wear the one pair of endless hoops- the kind that close into themselves. I never take them out. If I change earrings, it’s a special occasion. I don’t usually wear makeup and I have a wash and go hairstyle, so it’s an easy way to feel slightly more dressed up, without having to remember to do anything.) I also had long hair, so if I didn’t want someone to see it, I just didn’t show them. It was a really personal thing.

        I can’t say I ever really thought about “why”. If anyone asked, I always just said I liked it and that was it. Because really, in the end, I did like it. I took them out for religious reasons. Otherwise, I would probably still be wearing them. At least until my two year old learned to pull on my earrings. That may have been the end of it.

        • May I ask what religious reasons led you to take them out?

          • Sure Molly. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- a Mormon. I joined the church and was baptized at 18. The Prophet (or leader of the church) at the time had recently said that men should not wear earrings and women should have at most one pair of pierced earrings as a way to show respect for the body that God has given us. We also are counseled not to get tattoos or piercings anywhere else. Our bodies are the way God created them for a reason, and we should respect that and care for them accordingly. Here’s the article if you are interested:
            It’s pretty far down the page, under “be Clean”.

  15. My daughter won’t have her ears pierced, but that’s just a personal conviction. I think it has a lot to do with where we live; very few have pierced ears.

  16. Corinne says:

    Personally, I don’t understand the attraction of putting more holes in your body. But then again I also don’t understand the appeal of jewelry either. I had mine pierced twice as a teen (trying to fit in) and let them close each time. I’d like to take the stance that I won’t allow my kids to do anything permanent (piercings, tattoos, plastic surgery, etc) to their bodies until they are 18, but we’ll see how that goes 🙂

    • Oh, I feel ya on the “take a stance and see how it goes” thing. 😉 Honestly, I feel a little more “put together” with earrings on. Maybe that’s because I mostly stay home without them? Hmmm, not sure. What *I* don’t get is the multiple piercings. Nose… naval… I don’t see how that could possibly be comfortable and I’m pretty sure my husband is the only person to see my naval anyway. 😉 To each his own!

  17. Ear piercing! What a moment they all remember….including me! We have 3 girls (ages 12, 8 and 3). We decided that we’d wait until they were old enough to ask for it & really were sure they wanted to have holes in their ears. My oldest was 6 & she had one infection at one point but they’ve never grown closed.

    My middle girl was…what? only almost 3?? Hmm…well she seemed MUCH older. Oh yeah, she was talking in complete sentences and paragraphs before the age of 2. Maybe that’s why she seemed so much older. Anyway…we had a hurricane come through and hubby was off work all week due to no power. It was a fun mall outing because she had been asking. Unfortunately they did eventually grow closed & she just got them redone when she was 7 1/2 and had been asking again.

    So we’ll definitely wait until our youngest is 6 or 7 I think. You all bring up a good point of them being able to take care of them. Maybe we’ll wait until 8. I just know they older they get the more chicken they get 🙂

    Thanks for hosting! This week I’m sharing EASY & Frugal Stovetop Chicken Parm Pasta! I love that I can make chicken parm without heating up my house & use only 2 chicken breasts to feed my family of 5 with leftovers. And it’s a man pleaser!!

    Have a GREAT weekend!!

    • “I just know they older they get the more chicken they get” I don’t think that was the case for my girl. She was r.e.a.d.y. BUT I could totally see that for some. Definitely an “individual personality” thing. 🙂

  18. I got my ears pierced when I was 13. It probably could have been sooner, but once my mom figured out I was scared she told me I could go when I was ready rather then setting and arbitrary age. She told me I could get a second hole when I turned 18 (technically she told me that when I was 18 I could put as many holes in my head as I wanted to 😉 and then she took me to get it a few days before my 18th birthday. (In our state you have to be at least 18 to get your ears pierced without parental signature). All the girls in my husband’s family get their ears pierced shortly after birth. We’re leaning towards age 10 for our daughter. I think she should be old enough to care for them herself and it could be a fun milestone to look forward too.

    • Good for your mom to wait until you were ready! I don’t see any need to traumatize a young girl who doesn’t want it done. Scary.

  19. I am sharing my Almond Butter Truffles. Thank you for hosting

  20. My dad didn’t want me to get mine pierced because my mom never wanted hers pierced. (Not sure how that reasoning worked exactly… 🙂 ) He said I could do what I wanted after I got married, but then he relented and said when I got engaged I could get them done so I could have my earrings in our wedding pictures. I think because I waited so long I enjoy them more now! 🙂

    • I think my husband would have voted for that route. It was difficult for me to tell her no since I got mine done at the same age. 😉

  21. I was 8 when I got mine pierced (and a funky second hole in my left ear at 14 that I’ve long since let grow over ;)). I want two things in place before either of my girls gets earrings: 1) I want HER to ask for it. This shouldn’t be about me wanting to “doll her up” and 2) I want her to be able to care for them. I have no set age in mind. I’m one who doesn’t like the infant piercing… our doctor’s office offers it and I have HEARD these baby girls cry and scream when they get them done. For me, that seems needless. That said, I don’t doubt others have had different experiences and I also realize that sometimes tradition and culture play a role. To each their own! 🙂

  22. For my oldest, who had been begging from about the age of 4, we decided at the age of 6 we would go for it. Went in, picked out the earrings, climbed into the chair, and….she chickened out. Not just “I don’t want to do this now,” but she took off running down the mall. Once I caught up to her, I calmed her down and she asked if she could try again. Back to the store we went, and repeated all of the first attempt, complete with running away down the mall! So that was that for then.

    When she started asking again about a year and a half later we decided that if/when she really wanted it done, she needed to own it completely, and that she would be the be paying for it. For the next 18 months she saved nearly every penny from chores, birthdays, the tooth-fairy, and whatever other funds she acquired. For her 8th birthday last summer she was so close and still really wanting it, so we decided to gift her the remainder (about $10) and took her in. She took it like a pro and almost a year later she adores her pierced ears.

    With our younger daughters I think we’re taking the same approach, although our middle daughter is now 7 years old and really has no interest. She mentions it every once in awhile, but she knows she has to pay for it, and it simply isn’t a priority for her. I’m not complaining….

    • I think this is fabulous, and kudos to you for not strapping her down and making her go through with something when she wasn’t ready! If it wasn’t her only birthday gift, our girl would have had to pay for them, too. 😉

  23. I think we’ll probably let Katie when/if she’s interested and can take care of it herself (she’s 2 now and has said she wants rings for her ears like mommy’s–haha!). I got mine done when I was 13–no significance, just that Mom wanted me to do it at the doctor’s office, so I had to wait until my annual check-up. 🙂

  24. Not sure why, but your post and those pictures got me all teary eyed. Either it’s because she’s so sweet…or it’s because I remember my mom taking me to get my ears pierced and how special that was.

    But really, tears? Sometimes I’m super sappy.

    • Awww, I’m glad you have that memory, Laura, and *that’s* what I want for my own daughter. Special events like this deserved to be remembered. (My mom went with us, too.)

  25. I got mine when I was 3 so when all my friends starting getting there’s at 12 or 13 I was no longer special and got my 2nd set of holes. My ears are so sensitive to anything except gold or silver that now I hardly wear any earrings.

    Our 8 yo just got hers. I wanted to delay because of the sensitivity issues (I figured the older she was when she figured out that cheap earrings would hurt her ears the better). She’s done a great job of taking care of them all by herself.

    • I’ve been pleased with how well our 8yo has taken the initiative to care for hers this week. Good thing, because Mama certainly wouldn’t remember! 😉

  26. charity crawford says:

    I don’t believe in getting an infants ears pierced nor a child that you have to talk into it…Nor should you do it because you think it’s CUTE. This is going to sound strict or legalistic to some but I believe that if God intended for us to have any other holes in our bodies besides the ones he made then he would let us know….If my daughter wants hers done then she will be 18 and not living in my house and will have made that decision herself but I will love her regardless I just don’t want to put another hole in her body without her permission or having her do something she wish she had not done. Once it’s there it is there so make sure you are seeking God’s will on this one.

    • “I don’t believe in getting an infants ears pierced nor a child that you have to talk into it…Nor should you do it because you think it’s CUTE.” I’m with you on that one. Girls are plenty cute without the earrings. 😉

  27. I love the scrunchy face of your daughter and the victory smile at the end. Cute, cute, cute! So far my daughter, 7, has not asked or mentioned anything about the ears. But then I don’t have pierced ears myself. Never wanted them. Not sure what we’ll do once she notices and wants some herself. I kind of like the idea of the family that had their daughter raise the money herself. That might work well.

    • Honestly? If my girl had never mentioned them, we certainly wouldn’t have said anything. 😉 I have them, but am not one who has to have earrings in at all times. I try to remember them when I dress up beyond yoga pants and t-shirts, but that doesn’t always happen.

  28. We had said 10. But when my daughter did $200 worth of chores to go to summer camp last summer, I surprised her by taking her after camp was over – she was 4 months shy of 10. It was worth the wait.

  29. I have no children, so my opinion might not matter. However, my mom took me to have my ears done at 7 even though I hadn’t asked for them, and I don’t think that’s the best plan. I’m happy now, but still. I think the child should ask. If they’re not asking, then don’t bother! As to an appropriate age, I think it depends on the child, and as most people have said, their ability to clean it themselves. Perhaps even pay for it themselves? I have a friend whose mom pierced my friend’s ears as a baby, and now my friend’s holes are too close to her head and look strange (her admission, not mine!). She wishes her mom hadn’t done that to her as a baby! On another note, people need to consider much more than ear piercings these days. Facial piercings are very popular (particularly where I live) and it could be that your child asks for a nose piercing, cartlidge piercing, eyebrow piercing, lip piercing, etc. prior to ears! I personally have my ears, nose and navel pierced (the last two which I chose to do as an adult) and I’m not too worried about those things with a future child, but there’s lots to consider! Cleaning, care, permanency, cost, etc. Piercings are far more commonly accepted nowadays and in my opinion shouldn’t be as much of a “taboo” topic, and quite frankly, it’s biblical! 😉

    • Your opinion absolutely does matter, and I’m with you on many points. *For me* I would never do it until my girls asked for it and were ready. It’s a big deal!

  30. We relocated to the Middle East with hubby’s work. We have relatives living here and moving from rural Scotland to here was quite a difference. We’ve been here over ten years, and have a family of four .
    In Scotland, it wasn’t usual to see many children under the age of ten with earrings.In the Middle East, baby girls have their ears pierced when they are born. I don’t agree with that at all! People here were surprised to see that we had daughters that didn’t wear earrings.
    My daughters, upon reaching their tenth birthdays, which happened to be in the summer, were allowed to have their ears pierced when we travelled home to Scotland for the summer. For them it was something like a special event to look forward to.
    They were happy that they could pick earrings of their choice, and it was a special family outing on that day!

    • Fascinating how each culture is so very different. And yes, the specialness of the outing is just as important to me. 😉

  31. What a great milestone!!!

  32. How exciting for your little girl! She looks beautiful 🙂

    My parents made me wait until age 12 when I started Junior High School. As it turned out, I have extremely sensitive ears and I couldn’t even wear hypoallergenic earrings without being irritated. So all of that harassing for nothing. My poor parents. I stopped wearing earrings entirely when I was 14 and 15 years later they still haven’t completely closed up. So if we have girls I’m not sure what I’ll do…

  33. What fun stories!

    I was eight the first time, and although I was old enough to take care of them, I simply *didn’t* take care of them. They got infected, they hurt, it was horrible! At the time, I also insisted on getting starter earrings with my birthstone in them.

    I waited until I was 13 to get them done again, and I had a much better experience. Then when I was in college, I had my second set done with a bunch of other girls I lived with. Finally, after I got engaged, I got my third set done. So yes, I have three holes in each other! My ears are extremely sensitive, though, so I don’t get to wear a lot of “fun” jewelry, especially in the extra two sets. Small, simple gold studs for me. I absolutely love them.

  34. Jennifer says:

    I got my done at 4. I went in to get them done, the lady did one I screamed and cried and didn’t get the other one done til the next day. 🙂 I’m such a wienie!! BTW it was at that very mall your little girl got hers done at! She looked much braver them me! We have only boys so our rule is when you leave the house 😉

    • Really?! Not much left at that mall… that’s the one we went to growing up. It seemed much bigger then. 😉 Oh, and the boy thing… definitely not under our roof.

  35. We let our girls get their ears done when they turn twelve. For us, it represents passage from young girlhood into being young ladies. The girls really look forward to it as they have to wait. It also says that they are growing up. I totally agree with waiting until they can take care of their ears themselves. Too much other stuff going on!


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